How Do I Reconcile the Image of God as Judge with His Love, Grace, and Kindness?

Questions about how to reconcile the image of God as a judge with his love, grace, and kindness, why our sins are considered to be sins against God, and whether the idea that our debt was paid by Christ means we escape the penalty for our sins by right, not grace.  

* For most of my life, God has been portrayed to me primarily as a judge—watching closely, ready to point out where I fall short. But I’m learning there’s more to him than that. How do I begin to reconcile that image with the reality of his love, grace, and kindness?

* If I commit a sin against someone but then make amends and ask for forgiveness, how is it that I’ve also sinned against God, and why would God still need to punish me?

* If Christ was literally punished for our sins and our debt was paid, then how can it be said we are “forgiven”? Wouldn’t we escape the penalty by right, not grace?